Drama: Part II

(Note: new pictures are up! Go to the link "2nd Year Pics!")

Tol – Saturday

This retreat is exactly what I needed. I think it’s exactly what we all needed. We were all so overworked, stressed out, and, thanks to the past couple of weeks, emotionally drained. What we did today: have a very quick morning prayer, followed by basically whatever we wanted to do. There was PLENTY of food. We did a lot of swimming on the nearby dock. We sung with the kids some more. Before lunch we took another boat ride to a nearby island where we picnicked. We swam, snorkeled, and chilled on the hot beach in the sun eating snacks. We also stopped across the bay to visit the Turtle Cave (see pictures). It’s called the Turtle Cave because it is shaped like a huge turtle dug it (it was actually a flood). Really cool. Even as we hiked to it, kids appeared out of nowhere to follow us wherever we went. When we got back to our side of the bay, I ended up swimming on the dock with some kids for another hour. I had a bit of a sunburn and I was completely salted up from the lagoon water, but it was a refreshing feeling, since I’ve been cooped up at the school for the past 2 ½ months.

The rest of the day was spent with the kids, dancing some more and singing some more. They put on some shows for us because they love to entertain us constantly. I think some of their high energy and enthusiasm had to do with the fact that they had some visitors (from the prestigious Xavier High School no less) staying with them. It’s been a while since they hosted a retreat like this, since this land belongs to the Chuukese Mafia. They used to be the most notorious family in Chuuk, even in Micronesia. They smuggled
in weapons, tortured people, killed people to get their way. One of them used to be a Congressman and would even carry his gun with him at the capital. The main Mafioso is currently in the states for some medical treatment, but apparently he married like 22 women, and all of these kids surrounding us are his grandkids! But now one of the sons is a Catechist, so we have a cordial relationship with the sub-parish where we stayed.

But things are extremely simple here. No TV, telephone, Internet, cell phones, junk food, stores, roads, electricity, anything! It’s just high energy and beautiful scenery and lots of activity and simple happiness all around me. It’s exactly what I needed to feel re-energized from all of the energy I recently lost …

XHS – One week ago

So the Juniors, thanks to the fired-up class president (Pohnpeian), missed classes for an entire day. There was talk that we would be celebrating the 30 year anniversary of an entire class getting expelled from Xavier by expelling all of the Juniors. Most of the boys (all of the Pohnpeians) worked with the suspended kids in the morning, while the girls were just walking around not going to class. It was a mess. So they spent all day in meetings to go over their feelings and problems. Basically, by the end of the day, everyone was confused, hurt, angry, and nothing was resolved. So
they did have time to go to two more classes before the day was over: my classes. Great. I dropped my lesson plan, and told them, in as serious of a way as I could muster up, that they need to get all of their feelings out on paper. They needed to just write for 45 minutes straight. Micronesians in general are not good with expressing their feelings publicly, but on paper, they do a great job. So, I basically read every single essay, and gave about
half of them to the other teachers that were concerned (most of them were just addressed to me and no one else). Let me tell you, these kids felt very betrayed, misled, and confused. Most were upset with Fr. Arthur, but some were pissed at their own classmates. One very perceptive boy said that it was just the Pohnpeians who were only caring about their own countrymen.
Some said they didn’t want to walk out of class at all, because they didn’t do anything wrong, but if they didn’t follow the crowd, they would have been ostracized. It was a mess.

And the director wasn’t doing anything about it. In my opinion and in the opinion of others, he needed to deal directly with these two Pohnpeian boys and clear up the mess about the so-called “list.” It was these two boys that felt betrayed, and, selfishly and irresponsibly, they got the whole class involved. The director had another priest (Fr. Ken U., Yappese) deal with the situation … which was an awful idea because this priest didn’t know the details, and there was no communication between the two. It was absolutely ridiculous. The administration was not handling the situation well at all. They let these two kids walk all over them (and at the same time, walk all over the teachers – I was completely disrespected by the class president the other day, but there was nothing I could do because if I reported it, nothing would have happened).

What hurts also is how these kids really don’t care that they lost our trust, and they’re upset at us for being mad at them. One of the JVs had this great connection with that class. This JV was like their parent. When this JV was suddenly hurt by what happened with the chewing of betelnut (to re-clarify, it’s a type of local drug that involves chewing this seed with some other substances), it was as if the class disowned her. The JV felt very hurt, and although this person is extremely optimistic all the time, the JV was completely disheartened and even considered NOT staying on for an
extra year (this JV was very adamant about staying a third year.) It hurts to see her so down. It just adds to the hopeless feeling we get sometimes.

This is the best school in this area of the world, but the administration can’t take care of certain things that they should be doing. I understand if a place is poor or there is social injustice or the geography affects the circumstances of the place, but when the problems come from the (so called) capable people working here, it’s frustrating. The gross incompetence of this place gets to me. Seriously, it’s true that the JVs, these American
college graduates, are keeping this school together. Some would say that’s extreme and even a bit conceited, but it’s true. It also didn’t help my week when, as we were driving back from seeing the other two JVs, we were stuck behind a driver that was puking his guts out of the window WHILE he was driving his car. At that moment, I was glad for the first time that the roads were in such an awful condition because drunk drivers (which are like a daily occurrence here) would be speeding. But I digress …

The problem we have to deal with now is this huge divide in the Junior class between the Pohnpeians and the rest of the students. So much for the whole united family” feeling Xavier is supposed to embody. However, now this divide between ethnic groups is spreading throughout the whole school. It’s ridiculous. I don’t want to deal with these things that should have been taken care of or at least suppressed before it spiraled out of control. I have other things to deal with, like this freshman girl who is really sweet and awesome yet she comes to my office crying all afternoon because her
sponsor family makes her work over the weekend and there was a possibility of it turning into an abusive relationship. I need to deal with the freshman class (I’m their skills teacher) not doing their homework and most of them are failing and will probably not be here after Christmas. I want to deal with one of my advisee students who keeps cursing people and disrespecting other students that he was almost beaten up the other day by other boys, so I tried to intervene as indirectly as possible. I want to worry about
helping some seniors I’m close with apply to colleges and get them through that confusing process. I don’t mind that I’m not socializing, or having enough free time even to read, let alone do other relaxing things. I don’t mind that I have 4 classes to plan and grade for. It hurts that I have to miss next week’s sophomore CSP because I will be acting-principal for a few days (sweet). But when I see this gross incompetence from adults around me, when I realize that the Jesuits are not really giving a damn about this
place the more I am here, and when I see certain values that this school stands for not being followed through, it frustrates me.

These thoughts are a bit pessimistic and negative in general. It’s a new quarter right now, and hopefully all of this is behind us (I just learned that most of these boys will not be punished, which is also very ridiculous, but I need to take it easy or else I’ll have an ulcer). I want to get through this quarter without any serious drama. I want to focus on school, not other people’s responsibilities that aren’t being carried out. So some have been wondering, am I happy here? Yes, I am. I do love most of these
students. This blog does gloss over the great aspects of this school, but recently, it has been quite evident that the negatives seriously outweigh the positives. But I am doing fine and I have definitely grown from this experience. For instance, never before have I felt so angry at a person for disrespecting me, mostly because this student is neither poor nor poorly educated, and he only cares about his own Pohnpeian brothers. I have gained a greater understanding for why this place needs JVs, and it’s not just because of where it’s located. And after this wonderful weekend, I have learned what true simplicity is and how wonderful it can be. I want to continue getting better as a teacher, but I know that I did not leave my family and friends for two years to serve certain rich, spoiled kids. I could have stayed in Greenwich for that. I have a more defined pride in teaching and giving my time and energy for those who truly deserve it, because I simply don’t have enough time and energy to give to everyone here.

Tol – Saturday Night and Sunday

It was very sad to leave Sunday. I know some kids will forget us and simply be content with the exciting new visitors that came to their island. I slept on the ride back (I’m pretty desensitized to boat rides now) and it was evident that none of us were really psyched to get back. But our energy was replenished. I miss the kids already. Seriously, there were about a dozen little kids I wanted to adopt right away and just take home with me.

I’ll end this with an experience Saturday night. We went to the dock for a night swim, and we saw one of the most beautiful things ever. I guess in this part of the world, or in tropical waters, the plankton glow and sparkle at night when you disturb the water. Tom Hanks talked about it in Apollo 13 when he was referring to the glow of the wake of a boat. As soon as we jumped in, the water came to life with the dazzling sparkles of the reacting plankton. As we moved our feet and hands, a trail of stars appeared. We were
able to make water “angels” and watch our paths light up. It was extremely magical, under the starry, warm night.